2. Yoga is ain’t no Shanti Shanti Banti

It's the first lesson of the yoga trainers course. No matter how old you are, always in these situations of “first day of..” you are a bit like a kid on the first day of first grade. It’s just when you're older, you can raise your guard a bit and decide that you're better than everyone. “What does it matter? We don't have to connect or be friends. I'll just come, learn and go home taking my judgmental attitude with me..”. Leora kestenboim, teacher and manager of the course enters, berates latecomers, her expression tough but her eyes smiling and twinkling. “You can’t be late to this course, don't think that yoga or teaching yoga is Shanti Shanti Banti, it really isn't. Yoga is a very strict discipline! We'll start by training”. And thus during the next two hours I realize this journey will not be easy. When you're on the yoga mat you see yourself in the sharpest, clearest way. All the difficult thoughts and prejudices you have towards yourself and distractions you have in life seem to strengthen. Under Leora’s supervision, an experienced teacher who doesn't make things easy - it sharpens the picture even further, and in the presence of people who have been training in yoga for years and years (and whom I later discovered to be a wonderful, beautiful group of people), it's impossible to resist sneaking a sideways glance and comparing. “How flexible is he?!”, “Wow, how is she succeeding in doing that position?!”. Leora says to “try and concentrate only on yourself, there's nothing to see outside, everything is inside”. Within me I currently find a lot of noise and doubt. I'm wondering to myself if I've got all this noise inside of me, how I am supposed to convey the inner peace offered by yoga to others as a trainer?, Leora again somehow reading my mind and giving an answer, “please try to concentrate on your body, try to release nagging thoughts, believe me” she’s laughing,, “they won’t leave you alone, and definitely can wait for later on”.

---