Yogi mama wannabe – 3 kind of moms: Mommy Me First, Mommy Me Last and Midway Mom
My best friend H.B that’s with me in maternity leave, calls me up and tells me that she had her coffee cold again. We made it a habit - we text each other photos of the huge laundry piles we fold under the headline: "Glaaam!". Yes, it’s very easy to get into a very sisyphic loop in the maternity leave, I’m sure many women will agree with me. Other than taking care of the cute babies that we love so much, breastfeeding around the clock, add to that the administrative household routines. Every now and then when we get updated on Instagram, and see acquaintances of ours that already delivered as well, tagged some spoiled vacation of theirs: #nokids and we both in one hand, are a little bit jealous but in the other hand, say that we couldn’t have done that, we couldn’t leave our little ones in their first months of their lives.
This whole topic made me think that there are several types and approaches of motherhood:
Mommy Me first: this is the mom that within a second after labor, already makes time on her schedule for a personal trainer and for mani-pedi appointments, (don’t get mixed up, I am definitely not judging - I love personal trainers and mani-pedi’s!) the same well-kept mom that within a week makes room for a date with her husband and a short shopping trip in Berlin.
Mommy - Me last: the one that goes with the same faded sweatpants in the months after delivery, that doesn’t wash her hair and doesn’t do anything just for herself - not even a simple action like putting lotion after the shower, a mom that switched into –everything-before-her mode (again, I don’t judge, breastfeeding and labor are exhausting, total devotion is sometimes a part of the thing and in my case it's my natural tendency and default).
When H.B called and told me about the cold cup of coffee, I shared my theory with her and she asked me: “So what type of a mom do you think I am?”, I laughed: "Are your legs hairy?" she told me: "Yes" - I told her - there you have your answer, mommy me last, and she in defiance: "And what mom are you exactly?", I told her: "I am working on being a Midway mom, I'm a Yogi mama wannabe - metaphorically - something balanced - that gives a lot to her kids and sacrifices, but also keeps her place, so I gave up on the mani-pedi", I said, "Because I don’t want the chemical materials on my fingernails during breastfeeding and I'm not going out a lot, but on practicing and teaching yoga I really don’t give up - that’s my treat and spa and psychologist all together, and a day that starts with yoga is a much better day, I'm also eating high nutrient food, and not skipping long steamy baths, when you take care of your place and your personal wellbeing everyone gains", H.B and I closed our conversation.
You have to work hard to both keep your place and to provide sufficient
care to the kids and also not feeling guilt all day - but you can gently, and with full intention try to combine between things.
In that same evening the funny H.B sent me a picture of her waxing, with the writing: "Me!!! at last!!".
